Why do societies see the need to gender a baby before it comes into this world? Technology is indeed a great thing it shows us what gender your child is before it’s born. However, when your transgender and you look at the world a bit differently, you might disagree with this notion. Or maybe your transgender and you still adhere to the norms imposed by society that the gender your baby is born with is indeed your child’s gender. If you stop to think on that, is it right if you are transgender and imposing the same gender norms onto your unborn baby that were imposed onto you when you were in question of your own gender? It’s something to think about am I right?
Society as a whole has such a binary view of what gender is. Even within the transgender community the gender binary is imposed over non-binary and gender fluid individuals. So again, why do we impose this onto unborn children that have not even come into the world or come into their being and label them as male or female? I have a few theories onto why we do this, and I think they are downright silly.
A Man Is a Man; A Girl Is a Girl Argument.
If your transgender or have spent a lot of time around the transgender community, you will hear this a lot. Time and time again the first thing ignorant people will argue about is those chromosomes. “Science has proved if you have this chromosome or that chromosome you are either a man or you is women.” So, you see science as infallible and never wrong? Do you remember a time when we thought you could cure diseases by bloodletting? Yeah, that was the science of the time, and you know what, bloodletting did not work out so well. It kind of killed people, but it was science!
Let us take a moment to look at chromosome anomalies. These do in fact exist, and people that are born with these conditions are intersexed.
“Intersex” is a general term used for a variety of conditions in which a person is born with a reproductive or sexual anatomy that doesn’t seem to fit the typical definitions of female or male
The degree of intersexed conditions can vary widely from someone who might have sexual organs of both genders. To people that might not physically show it, but may have internal organs of both sexes that may or may not be fully formed. Other conditions could include being physically one of the typical binary genders but may only show anomalies when ran through chromosome testing. In reality, anyone could have intersexed conditions and never know it!
They Are Physically Male or Female Argument.
This kind of goes hand in hand with the previous argument society is so stuck in the gender binary that it can’t see past physical gender. Yes, I was assigned male at birth because the doctors and my parents noticed I had a penis. So therefore at that time, I was considered a baby boy. However, this argument is also flawed in many ways. You cannot judge a book by its cover, yes the cover art to 50 Shades of Grey looks compelling. But it’s nothing more than BDSM fantasy. Which might be attractive for the urban homemaker who wants to do it but just can’t bring herself to do it but she really wants to. What I am saying is at the end of the day 50 Shades sucks, just get out there and do it. Now that I am done comparing babies to BDSM although they could be related because you need sex to make a baby, but that is not really the point here. We all know how babies are made I would hope….
If your baby is born male or female, it does not mean they align with their physical gender. Something they do not teach you in sexual education in school is physical and mental gender happen at different times when that bun is in the oven! Physical characteristics of a developing embryo take place before mental development, neural pathways, and all that jazz.
What exactly does this all mean?
Gender is a spectrum, yes a spectrum of femininity to masculinity or masculinity to femininity. You have to think of it as a sliding scale, and this is seen right before our eyes every day. Some women do not always dress girly in dresses and kitten heels. While some men do not always dress in flannel and Carhartt. The concept of someone being transgender is hard for some people. Some people may indeed never see gender as a spectrum, and some people will never accept the fact that some people do not identify male or female. Until, people start seeing gender as a spectrum.
The assignment of the binary gender onto babies and unborn fetuses is an old antiquated notion. The sooner we start to accept this as a society the sooner we can move on and progress as a society. Let’s stop gendering babies and just wait. If you have a child, it will become apparent where they fall on the gender spectrum.
However, don’t go freaking out and jumping to conclusions if your son wants to play with Barbie’s. Just because they are playing with them does not mean he’s transgender. Kids are kids and will play with toys as they see fit. If you start telling your son no, those are for girls it’s sending the message that it’s not manly and its wrong for them to do this. If your child does turn out to be transgender and sees their self as a girl, what message is this sending? It’s saying you’re wrong for wanting to play with Barbie’s because I see you as a boy, so you need to act like a boy. What this does is sends a message that they should be ashamed of their selves.
So What Do I Do?
Stop imposing gender norms onto your child based on physical sex alone. Give it time and let your kid be a kid and let them develop. Ask your child if they are a boy or a girl, that inner sense of what they are will come with time. Think back to your development, did you know you were a girl or a boy without anyone telling you? Did you question your gender when someone said that you were a boy or a girl? So, please just stop assuming, dress you kid how you see fit but if they question it do not tell them they are wrong and do not discount it.Tweet #TransHopeUnited