We have all dealt with it, time and time again the questions people ask us and the assumptions they have about transgender people. I have had some pretty wild and outrageous questions posed over the years, and just when I think I have heard it all, something new comes up that just makes me think “WTF.” Seemingly simple questions that a quick Google search could easily
cure most of the time. However, the people asking these questions seem more interested in just hearing or in the case of being online seeing us type it out for them. Yes, it’s true there are guys out there that get off on reading the written word of a transgender person explains it to them. As if they are hoping for erotic word porn to grace the presence of their messenger app. If you are one of those people reading this, I regret to inform you this is not that article. This article aims to separate fact from fiction in regards to transgender people.
• Transgender women are all crossdressers & drag queens.
No, trans women are not crossdressers, were also not all drag queens. While some transgender women might have done drag in the past or even still do drag. This is not something all transgender people do. It would be like saying all Asians are good at math. I am half Asian, and I completely suck at mathematics. Bottom line we are women, there is zero sexual arousal with putting on women’s clothing. Do we feel hot and or sexy? Yes, there are those moments where you put on that perfect outfit, and you think “Ok, I look hot!”. But, I can not stress this enough being a trans women is not a fetish for us. That is not to say that trans women have never not been a crossdresser. For some of us, that is how it starts, by secretly wearing women’s clothing or doing drag performances. It’s through that kind of expression that we can often find our way.
• Transgender women want to rape your wife and or children in the bathroom or locker room……
This argument is a serious debate right now; it has even been called the civil rights movement of our generation. I am going to level with you here; we’re not interested in having sexual relations with your wife and or children in bathrooms or locker rooms! Do you know how absurd that is? We are not interested in doing anything in the bathroom except using it for what it was designed for. Likewise, this whole locker room nonsense. Transgender people are not just going to run into the locker room and start flashing their privates for everyone to see.
Some of us have a lot of dysphoria about our private areas, having everyone see them is the last thing we want anyone to see.
I can’t speak for every transgender person regarding this. However, on a personal level, if I use a locker room, I am not stripping down naked. I will go home to shower; no way you will catch me showering in a public place.
- You chose to be transgender because you are sick in the head.
Again no, just no we are not sick in the head, and we do not have a mental illness furthermore, we did not just one day say hey I am going to be a girl now because I want to. No, no it’s way more complex than that. This might sound like a Lady Gaga song, but we were born this way. It was not a choice we were given. This is not an MMO where we loaded up a character creator and clicked the female button. We, are literally born this way it’s something that is hardwired into us, just as you have always known you were male or female. For transgender women, we have always known we were women. It may have taken some of us longer to figure it out in life, but the rule still stands, we know exactly who we are.
• You are angry and hate cisgender people!
I cannot speak for everyone on this topic, on a personal level no I don’t hate cisgender people at all. Many of my good friends are cisgender people. Trans women seem to get a bad reputation for being cisgender haters. Not the case, most of it stems down to this. We get asked the same set of questions every time a cisgender person finds out that we are transgender. How would you feel if every time someone new that you met found out you had constipation? Then told you how sorry they felt for you having to go through all of that and asking you all sorts of questions not limited to “have you pooped today?”. Would you want to tell people daily about your shiting cycle? Well, that is how it feels when your transgender and you get an onslaught of questions about being transgender all the time. Yes, yes I know curiosity is a fucking thing, but honestly, GOOGLE and if you are a close friend you might get question privileges at a later time. So if you believe transgender women are angry at cisgender people, and you feel offended after you ask a personal question related to us that you would not ask another cisgender person. Think back to “Would I like if someone asked me if I shit today?”.
• You don’t look like a female to me.
I sure have said NO a lot in this article, but I am saying it again but adding JUST NO! This is a horrible assumption to make and or say to a transgender woman. You have no concept of what stage of transition she might be in or the factors behind her situation. She could be in the early stages of transition or she may not have access to reliable health care and treatment. So please stop and ask yourself “Am I a dick?” Chances are if you ask this question then yes you’re a dick. So just don’t ask this question, don’t assume and don’t be a dick.
Fear and vilification of transgender women have become all too familiar lately. These assumptions are blatant lies. My advice, don’t believe everything you read or watch on the internet. You may even choose not to believe this article, and that’s just all on you. However, if you knew a transgender person you might think differently. I know that no matter how hard we try to change the view of the world about transgender people. There will always be someone that has so much hate due to ignorance and refusal to just open their hearts up to new concepts. That is something that can not be changed but for every person that is on the fence about transgender issues hopefully you have the ability to know a transgender person and see that we are just people like everyone else. We have hopes, dreams, families, and children of our own.Tweet #TransHopeUnited