This question that gets asked a lot and is pretty familiar to those who are just coming to terms with being transgender. Even if you have known your whole life that you were the opposite of your born gender. It can often lead to this question and many others regarding timing and whens the best time for me and those people in my life. I know I went through my struggles with this issue when I was first coming out of the closet.
The short answer, in my opinion, is there is no best time to transition. The transition is a necessary step to better your life, and thus, it comes with a host of complications that can arise. Am I saying you should not transition? No, that is not the case at all transition is life saving and I mean that literally transition saves lives. There is no best age to transition old or young are both capable of following this path. Yes, hormone replacement therapy tends to work better the younger you are. Do not throw in the towel this does not mean you cannot transition and be successful in your transition. But by no means write off transition if you feel you are too young, or you think your current appearance will doom your transition in any way.
Family & friends can be another reason to question the right time. However, don’t let it be the reason that you say I will not transition and suffer in silence. You might be worried how your parents with react, your kids, and spouse. But not being your real authentic self is in a way more damaging to those around you.
Is it possible your family, children and friends might disown you? Yes, it is entirely possible and anyone that transitions tend to feel this to varying degrees. I lost my wife due to transition, the person she fell in love with was not the person I was. So much of who I was and my personality was beneath a mountain of silence. The opposites were too much for my ex-wife to adjust to and you know what in the end that is ok. It felt horrible at the time, and my world then collapsed and fell apart. However, in the end, and looking back on it years later it was the best thing that ever happened to me. It is what set me free and stopped me from holding on to the lie I was living when I was pretending to be a man.
Did I lose family and friends out of my transition? I did, in fact, lose a few friends, and my biological father hardly talks to me. In fact, I am not sure if it is because I am transgender. Alternatively, the fact that he is heavily addicted to drugs or a combination of the both. T
However, what I lost cannot compel to what I gained through my transition. I was fortunate to have an incredible mother and step-father who is just consider to be my father since he has always been there for the majority of my life. I have the world’s best little sister who is one of my best friends in the world. Overall my entire relationship with my family increased, and I got a lot closer to them than I ever was before my transition. I have a loving girlfriend that one person I can talk to about anything. She tells me how much she loves me every day, and that is one of the best feelings. Most of all I genuinely love myself and love whom I have become, I found purpose in transition and the trans community has become my passion.
Transition is scary and exciting, most of all it is the most rewarding thing you can do for yourself. No time may feel like that right time. Life does not work that way, and it may simply never be or feel like the right time. However, it is your time, and you always need to remember you have to take time for yourself. Living life to make everyone else happy is great, but you cannot sacrifice your life, your better authentic life for others. Being true to yourself can, in fact, make the lives of those around you better. It will be a long hard road coming out, losing people you cared for However, those that stick around will become closer, and your relationships with them and yourself will become stronger.Tweet #TransHopeUnited