I was born in 1963. A time when doctors would look between your legs at your genitals to determine your gender and sex. It’s now 2016, 53 years later and things haven’t changed much since then.
As we start our unmasking’s, our lives are turned upside down, rearranged, organized and finally takes shape in the form of what we’ve always seen for ourselves. This is a process known as transitioning. We all go through and live it on a daily bases.
My entire existence is Melissa- being transgender is just a part of it. Yes it’s true, I’m in many support groups and talk about transgender related issues in my posts and responses. Yes, I write articles about my unmasking but my everyday existence is truly Melissa. I work five days a week at two different jobs and I’m just me there and the subject of my being transgender never enters the conversations. When I’m out and about on the town, no one knows about me, No one needs too. I’m fortunate enough to have ciswoman passing privileges, but in the community, I choose to an open book and will share my story to help others.
Consider this for a moment though, we all hear that we are brave or courageous for transitioning, while I agree with that statement, I’m looking at it a little differently than some. We all have friends and families in our lives, some will stand by us and some don’t. The ones that do stay, in my eye, are some of the most courageous and brave people in my life because they have chosen to stay in my life. They face uncertainty and the unknown with me without any skin in the game. They face some of the same discrimination and hate I do because they are with me. They will stand up for me and fight battles in my defense.
These are people who have lost friends and family because they have stood by me. I know it seems like a no brainer to me now that I would do the same thing if the roles were reversed. But I could never honestly answer that question because I have no idea what it’s like not to be me. How would I know what it’s like to be in their shoes after all? I’d like to think I would but I have no idea what it feels like to be cisgender. So I stand in complete awe of those friends, family and allies. They are so brave and have oodles of courage if you ask me.
To all the friends, family and allies of mine, I would like to thank you from the depths of my soul. Without you in my life I really don’t know where I would be. I have been able to feed off of your strength and courage. You are truly amazing people and I admire your determination to stay by my side and support me. I love each and every one of you.
With all my love,